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Since March 13th 2011

Photo I took in Paris, France
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Bla bla..

28. July 2013

So he loved you

But you loved him more

You knew you would get hurt and you did

Day by day, you didn’t see it at first

And then you did. Because you would do anything for him when he wouldn’t have.

Yet everyday you still continued to love him and imagine your future with him, even though he wasn’t exactly what you needed and you knew it. You closed your eyes. You ignored the pain in your chest. You believed the would change.

He didn’t.

You created illusions for yourself. You were happy when he was nice, and you cried a lot when he wasn’t. When he was with his friends, he became someone else. Suddenly he wasn’t the same, he talked to other girls. You were terrified. Everyday, day by day, terror grew inside you. You were afraid to lose him. Afraid that he would not want you anymore. So you became crazy, crazier then you though you could ever be. 

And now, that he has left you, you are all alone.

Now you know, you know you are better off without him. You know that everyday he would take little pieces of you, destroy you slowly. Minute by minute, you would lose yourself. Until there was none of you left and he didn’t see anything interesting you and just left you there to rot.

And now you are getting better. The days are sunnier, brighter. You know you are doing good. But there are those dark, gloomy days when you cry, because you miss his arms around yours. When you miss his cute words and his caring tone. And then you realize the boy you loved is dead to you. He doesn’t exist anymore, he is gone. So you dry your tears and you tell yourself you will never love like this again. That you can go for affection and something stable. But you never want to love so much, to love unconditionally again, to let someone destroy you this way. You miss your late night talks, your imaginative stories. You miss the memories, the touch. The look in his eyes, his smile. But you hope, that someday the thought of him will stop to hurt and you will be able to appreciate what you learned from this relationship.